A messy day in clinic shows how erectile dysfunction is common, fixable with a plan, and worth talking about. Track patterns, lower pressure, tidy sleep and alcohol, and choose a private consult when you are ready. No one size fits all. [1][2][3]
I am an Australian GP. By 10am the waiting room is packed. A knock, then a head pops in. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else.
“Doc, I am in strife. Last night I froze again. My partner walked out. I could not keep an erection. I do not know what is wrong with me.”
I invite him to sit. “You are not broken. Erectile dysfunction is common, it rises with age, and it often has more than one cause. Let us slow things down and make a plan you can stick to.”
The knock, the panic, the pause
He paces, hands on hips. “I tried to push through. The more I tried, the worse it got. I feel like a failure.”
“Here is the first move,” I say, sliding a notepad over. “We press pause. We trade pressure for data. For seven days, you will log sleep, alcohol, stress out of 10, morning erections yes or no, and any difficulties. We will let facts beat fear.”
He nods, still tense.
“Second move. Tonight you tell your partner the new plan. No pressure sex holiday for a week. Practise closeness without a goal. Touch, talk, kiss. If an erection happens, great. If not, also fine.”
He exhales. “That sounds human.”
Our longer chat
Patient: “I smoke when I am stressed.”
Me: “That matters. Smoking can contribute to erection problems by harming blood flow. Cutting down is a win for sexual function and general health.” [4]
Patient: “Should I be worried about my heart?”
Me: “Erectile dysfunction can sometimes be associated with cardiovascular risk. That is why we look at the whole picture and build habits that support your heart and erections.” [6]
Patient: “I am embarrassed to see someone in person.”
Me: “You do not have to start in person. If you want privacy, book a confidential online consult with DirectMeds. You will complete a secure questionnaire, and an Australian-licensed doctor will review your case. If anything needs an exam, we will say so clearly. Otherwise -if eligible- your doctor will issue an online prescription.”
Patient: “I just want this fixed fast.”
Me: “I get it. No magic fixes here. What we can do today is reduce pressure, improve conditions for erections, and choose a safe pathway that suits you. That is grown up care, not quick promises.”
New ideas to try this week
- The 30 second reset breath. When anxiety surges, sit, both feet on the floor, breathe slowly for 30 seconds. Reset the scene before you try again.
- The two room rule. If frustration spikes in the bedroom, change rooms for ten minutes. New context, new outcome.
- Intimacy without targets. Pick three non sexual moments of closeness each day. Quick hug, longer kiss, shared shower. Take erections off the scoreboard for now.
- Weekend alcohol holiday. Try two alcohol free days back to back. Many men notice stronger morning erections after lower intake. [2]
- Phone free hour. Blue light and doom scrolling can dent arousal. Park the phone outside the bedroom.
- Smoke smart steps. Swap one cigarette break for a walk or call a mate. Repeat tomorrow. Small wins compound. [4]
Is it all in my head or in my body?
Short answer. Often both. Patterns help you tell them apart. If morning or solo erections are fine but partnered sex stalls, that leans toward stress. If erections are unreliable in every setting, physical factors might be in the mix and are worth a check in. [2][3]
A dramatic moment, handled
Back in the room he breaks down. “I told her I might be better off alone.”
I hand over tissues. “Hold that thought. Tonight try this script.”
You: “I care about us. My erections have been unreliable. It is not your fault. I am taking a week to reset pressure, improve sleep, and cut alcohol. I am booking a private online consult.”
Partner: “Thanks for telling me. How can I help?”
You: “Patience, and more cuddles. We will get there.”
Your 14 day starter plan
Days 1 to 3
- Start the tracker. Sleep, stress, alcohol, morning erections, any difficulties.
- No pressure intimacy only.
- Book a confidential online consult with DirectMeds for a qualified review when you are ready.
Days 4 to 7
- Movement most days. A brisk walk or a short ride.
- Alcohol holiday. Two to three days without alcohol.
- Reset breath before intimacy.
- Partner check in using the script above.
Days 8 to 14
- Review your tracker. Spot patterns.
- Keep intimacy gentle.
- If problems persist or red flags appear like chest pain or severe shortness of breath, seek prompt medical care.
- If you prefer online care, continue with DirectMeds for a tailored plan and ongoing support.
Why I am raising awareness
Erectile dysfunction is common and becomes more likely with age. It often involves a mix of physical and psychological factors, not a character flaw. Talking early helps you find simple, practical steps and the right level of care.
FAQ
Is erectile dysfunction normal sometimes?
Yes. Occasional erection trouble is common. Persistent difficulties are a sign to check in so you do not miss contributing factors like stress, sleep, smoking, or health conditions. [1][2]
Can lifestyle changes really help?
Healthy routines like better sleep, regular movement, and lowering alcohol and smoking can support sexual function and overall health. They are not a cure, but they improve the conditions for erections. [2][6]
Is smoking linked to erection problems?
Yes. Government guidance notes smoking can cause impotence by harming blood flow. Cutting down or quitting is a positive step. [4]
Why not promise a quick cure?
Australian rules require consumer health information to be accurate, balanced, and not misleading. No guaranteed cures. Safer care respects that. [5]
Can I get private help without a clinic visit?
Yes. You can start with a confidential online consult at DirectMeds. Australian licensed doctors, 100 percent online, discreet delivery, and ongoing support.
References
[1] Healthy Male. Erectile Dysfunction fact sheet. Reviewed 2018. Healthy Male
[2] Healthdirect Australia. Erectile dysfunction overview. Updated 2025. Healthdirect
[3] RACGP. Assessment and treatment of erectile dysfunction by the GP. 2017. RACGP
[4] Australian Government Department of Health, Disability and Ageing. Smoking and erectile dysfunction. Updated 18 Dec 2024. Health, Disability and Ageing Australia
[5] Therapeutic Goods Administration. Applying the Advertising Code rules. Updated 3 Oct 2024. Therapeutic Goods Administration (TGA)
[6] Healthy Male. Erectile dysfunction page, lifestyle and cardiovascular links. Healthy Male
Ready when you are
If you want help that is private and structured, begin a confidential online consult with DirectMeds. Australian licensed doctors, 100 percent online, discreet delivery, and ongoing support.
This article is general information only and does not replace professional medical advice. For diagnosis and treatment, consult your licensed healthcare provider such as DirectMeds.